Catherine Confidential
Source: Instyle July 2004
By: Johanna Schneller
Typed By: KaiaMS. ZETA JONES
REVELS HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE, RAISE WELL-ADJUSTED KIDS, BUY SEXY LINGERIE, TELL A DIRTH JOKE... AND MUCH, MUCH MORE. TAKE NOTES.
There are a lot of good reasons to listen to what Catherine Zeta-Jones has to tell you. At 34 this feisty brunette has grabbed life by the tail, fashioned it into a fetching stole, and tossed it around her sculpted shoulders. If you pitched her as a movie, no one would believe it: Small-town Welsh beauty tap-dances her way onto the London stage; takes Hollywood by storm via such films as The Mask of Zorro, Entrapment and Traffic; marries Michael Douglas, the scion of cinematic royalty; gives birth to son Dylan, 3, and Carys, 1 (appropriately, the choix du roi, or the choice of the king, meaning a son to rule, followed by a daughter to expand the kingdom through marriage); and caps it all off with a best supporting actress Oscar for Chicago (2002). Her latest triumph, The Terminal, was directed by Steven Spielberg and stars Tom Hanks as an Eastern European traveler stranded at JFK airport in New York City who falls for her character, a flight attendant. And she did it all not by following other people's rules but by making her own.
On a sunny Saturday, Zeta-Jones makes a Hollywood entrance at Isabella's, a popular New York brunch spot just around the corner from the Central Park West apartment that is one of three homes she shares with Douglas. As she glides through the crowd to her corner table, wearing oversize sunglasses, a black knit top with a plunging neckline, jeans and pointy-toe chartreuse movie-star sandals, onlookers' jaws drop. Her long, loose hair is a shampoo commercial, much darker that her eyes, which are a startling amber. Her olive skin--she was born to wear black or red--is perfect but for a daub of scar at the hollow of her throat (the result of a childhood tracheotomy). Somehow, that tiny mark sets the rest of her beauty in relief, giving the break you need from her flawlessness.
Throughout lunch--pine salad with chicken, artichokes, pine nuts and many glasses of cranberry-and-soda--the vibe Zeta-Jones generates is vitality and no-nonsense energy shot through with laughter. She is gracious to waiters. She gives you her full attention and a lot more: She gives you her rule book for living ridiculously well. Are you paying attention?
Ignore diets. "Sure, I have to watch what I eat. We all do. But I don't even know what the South Beach diet is. To me it sounds like margaritas on the beach. That would be a good diet!"
And dyeing. "Blondes have more fun?" she scoffs. "Complete bull----"
Make reservations, not dinner. "I made this cake once. What was it? What's the cake that you have at Thanksgiving?" she asks. Pumpkin pie? "Pumpkin pie! I made a pumpkin pie once. Actually, I made three: one rehearsal, one dress rehearsal and the one for the dinner. The third one was really good, but the first one?" She rolls her eyes. "And it's not hard to do, make a pumpkin pie. I don't have organizational skills. I mean, none. In a kitchen I put the cornflakes with the detergent. I don't think about those things."
Marry your soul mate. "Don't forget, Michael and I were born on the same day [September 25, 25 years apart]. There are so many similarities to us, it's insane. And we know each other very well. So it's not even worth trying to wrap him around my finger. He's looking at me with the baby blues, and I'm looking at him, and we know. But I never put the phone down without telling him I love him. I never go out the door without telling him I love him. Both of us wear our heart on our sleeve a little too much. There's sensitivity to us. But we're kind to each other and that's why I think our relationship works."
But demand your own bathroom. "For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her or his own bathroom. The end."
Put down roots. Zeta-Jones has earned many air miles winging among their three homes: the lavish apartment in New York City; a compound in Majorca, Spain; and a house in Bermuda. (Members of Douglas's mother's family have lived on the island for centuries, and the couple's own kids live there most of the time. Dylan is in nursery school there five days a week.) "Bermuda right now is a sanctuary,” Zeta-Jones says. "We haven't got to be on. We're just Mum and Dad. When I go back there I have that fuzzy feeling in my stomach about coming home."
Bond with fellow actresses. She calls her America's Sweethearts and upcoming Ocean's 12 co-star Julia Roberts "a great broad."
Dazzle your male co-stars. Zeta-Jones has matched politically incorrect wits with John Cusack (America's Sweethearts) and nearly danced Tom Hanks to death (The Terminal). But she keeps her eyes open around George Clooney (Intolerable Cruelty and Ocean's Twelve). "Funny--I mean hilarious," she calls him. "He's an amazing cartoonist. He'll doodle on a tablecloth, do caricatures. Michael and I spent time with him at his house on Lake Como. Stunning! The basketball hoop is right by the kitchen, easy access, which you need after eating all the food he puts out." When he didn’t pull one of his infamous practical jokes on her, she told him, "I'm upset. I thought we became friends." He replied, "They can take up to three years."
Don't let Oscar go to your head. "If you're awarded something in any situation--best pump person at the garage--it's hard to act to follow. But I believe we make our own destiny. The morning after the Oscars I turned to Michael and said, 'OK, now the work begins.' Not that I hadn't worked before. My road now is to choose different roles, to have fun, to work with great people. But to say, 'I'm looking for my Monster,' like Charlie had, that's ridiculous.
Reject the D-word. "I hope I'm never a diva, ever. I hate working with divas--and there are male divas who put the woman to shame. I'm on time, I know my lines, I'm always pleasant. I'm very low-maintenance. I grew up in the theater, where I dressed myself, put my wig on, took it off, brushed it through for the next day, and drove myself home. I was brought up to do things for myself. In our households we have a housekeeper. I don't have people milling around with white gloves on. I can't stand it. I don't need my arm stroked; I don't need to be told how I'm this and that. I really don't give two hoots."
Remember: Manners matter. "Michael and I have a great sense of discipline, and we have a very European attitude. We have lunch together as a family every day. My son can go to a restaurant and sit for two hours. I think it's important." There's no running around the table for the Douglas kids. "No, no, no, no," Zeta-Jones says. "Our children are really well behaved. My son says, 'Excuse me' before he says anything else, even if he hasn't quite decided what he's going to say next."
Size, however, does not. "I've always been round. You can make yourself nuts. I look at the red carpet sometimes and it's like a pageant. That's why I loved being pregnant. Loved it! All those years of dancing [in British theater], being around all those eating disorders, wanting to be thin, I just felt liberated when I was pregnant. I had so much energy." Douglas liked her body too, she says: "Well, he had no choice." She laughs. Not only was he there for the births (I was bending his fingers backward!"), but he was also there for all her appointments. "He'd be talking about golf with my ob-gyn and I'd be like, 'Hurry up! I don't want to be lying here on my back for this long!' He was good when the hormones started to crash too. I think it takes a year [to get back to your shape]; you're constantly coming down. I still don't know what size I am. I go to a store and I say, 'Just give me a few sizes of everything.'" She hasn't ruled out having another baby, "but not right now."
Get you beauty sleep (any way you can). "I don't like flying, but I curb that by falling asleep immediately. I'm out, out, out--no pill, nothing. They have to wake me up when we're landing. Especially the L.A.-to-London flight. 'Miss Zeta-Jones, would you mind putting your seat back up?' And I'm in my pajamas, like, 'What are you talking about? We just took off!'"
Don't rule out cosmetic surgery. "Whatever makes you anybody happy. Life's too short. You’re unhappy, and that's going to make you happy? Do it."
Know at least one all-purpose dirty joke. "Here's one my mother-in-law told me, so it's really dirty, right? How can you tell if your mothballs smell fresh?" Pause. "First you open their little legs..." For such a rarefied creature, she has a filthy laugh.
Amass lingerie. "I have alot of lingerie," Zeta-Jones says. You have no trouble believing her. "After being pregnant twice, quite close together, I like anything that has a little sex appeal. Those big knickers aren't good for a girl's psychology! I love beautiful nightgowns and silk pajamas-which I never wear but love having. I have some beautiful bath gowns--not bathrobes; they're not terrycloth." She mock shudders. What does she actually sleep in? "Nothing!" she squeals. There's that filthy laugh again.
Indulge yourself. "Salty potato chips, red wine, champagne. Doing nothing. TV sports, Lou Dobbes and Aaron Brown. But not reality TV. And when I'm shooting a film, I always want one more take."
Embrace the absurd. "In Britain they said that Michael was running for the U.S. presidency, but that was just a tiny line on the front [of the tabloid]. The main story was about how I as First Lady would decorate the White House. They had pictures of me in the Oval Office, pointing in the Rose Garden."
Let 'em see you sweat. "I've always been an anxious person. I have a lot of anxiety. But I have an exercise that I do: I worry myself to such heights of sickness that it becomes an exorcism. So when I go onstage everything is drained out of my body and I'm able to focus." Her worst attack involved introducing Sean Connery at the Kennedy Center Honors without a Telepromter. "For hours before, I was a mess. And during the show Bill Clinton was sitting right there. I wasn't perfect, but I got thought it. But Michael, on the way back to the hotel, said, 'Honey, if anyone asks you to do that again, please say no.'"
Toss your master plan. "I never had this big blueprint, where, God forbid anyone get in my way. It was just a progression. And yes, my life has changed considerably [in the last four years]. And with that brings a lot of responsibility, a lot of logistics. When my kids go to bed I start working. And yes, I get overwhelmed. Sometimes I go, 'Oh my God, what the hell happened here?' But I can't believe what’s happened to me either. I can't believe I met the love of my life, I've had two beautiful children, and I've been able to mix that up with a job I love. It's an amazing life, but it's not 'everything's coming up in roses' constantly. It still feels like life. I still know that milk costs $3.99." So what more could Catherine Zeta-Jones want? "More of the same," she replies with a dazzling smile. "Long may it continue."