Interview Cruelty
Source: The Wave October 9-22, 2003
By: Fred Topel

George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones make a mockery of this interview.  And we love them for it.

    When it comes to A-List actors, you don't get much higher on the heap then recent Oscar winner Catherine Zeta-Jones and her mega-bachelor co-star, George Clooney.  Imagine our delight when we had the chance to sit down with both of these super-famous creatures of the planet Hollywood.  Perched on canvas director's chairs, the two took turns cracking wise and laughing at their own jokes.

In ther rare event you've not seen the movie or at least the trailer for their current project, its's called Intolerable Cruelty, produced and directed by Joel and Ethan Coen, respectively.  Zeta-Jones plays the girl, or should we say woman, who is being divorced by her impossibly rich husband.  Clooney plays the marquee divorce attorney the husband hires to get him out of the marriage without a settlement, albeit the crooked way.  The wife seeks revenge and so on.

The Wave: Catherine, this film can present such a pessimistic view of marriage.  How do you keep such a positive outlook in your life?
Catherine Zeta-Jones: Take a day at a time and be kind.  I think, especially in our business, we meet a lot of people and sometimes you spend so much time being nice to strangers.  So just keep a clear head and be nice to each other.  That's all the advice I can give.

George Clooney: Being married to Michael Douglas helps.

TW: Did you guys model your characters on anyone you know in the industry?
GC: Ben and Jen.

CZJ: [To Clooney] Who were you playing?

GC: [Rolls his eyes] I don't like her anymore.

TW: But this is Hollywood.  You must have run across people like this.
CZJ: Poor Hollywood.  These things happen all over the world, but what a great backdrop to have Hollywood in our movie.  No, I didn't base her on anyone, but I know people who divorce a lot...and have really nice houses.  [Laughs] But I didn't model the character on anyone in particular, and if I did, I would never tell their name.

TW: How do you really feel about lawyers?
GC: Lawyers?  Oh, they're fun.  [Laughs] You don't really need one until you need one, I guess.  They're sort of a mixed blessing, obviously.  We all love to make jokes about them and they sure can be irritating and we sure think we can live without them.  Then every once in a while you think it would sure be nice to have a good lawyer.  I feel the same way about them as I do actors.  [Laughs] The obvious answer is we all know they're important and they're needed and they also abuse things at times so it goes back and forth.

TW: What are your thoughts on pre-nups?  Are they necessary in case things go awry?
GC: I'll take this question, Catherine.

CZJ: Thanks, George.

GC: Why, yes I think they're very important.  I have a pre-nup and I'm not married.  I have a pre-nup with everbody I go to dinner with.  "Sign this!"

TW: Seriously, though.
CZJ: Whatever.  People sign whatever they want to sign and do whatever they want to do.

GC: She made me sign something.

TW: Catherine, what makes you feel beautiful?
CZJ: My little boy telling me I have the prettiest eyes he's ever seen.  My little three-year-old makes me feel very special.  I think just being relaxed within myself and that gives me confidence, just being relaxed and stress free.

TW: How do you stay stress free?
CZJ: I take drugs like everyone else.  [Laughs]

GC: I drink.  If you drink with the drugs...try this at home, kids.

TW: George, your friends say you were a ladies man even when you lived in a closet.
GC: I'm out of the closet now.  [Winks]  Yes, I lived in a closet for a while.

TW: But how did you tell women, "Hey, wanna go back to my closet?"
GC: Oh, I don't think I really did that too much.  I had no money at all, either, so I don't think I was dating all that much.  Miguel, my cousin, made me so much of the idea that I got a lot of girls in the closet, but I don't really remember having a whole lot of luck in the closet there.  I was probably using some girl's car or something else at the time.

TW: Catherine, you ever want to play a less glamourous character?
CZJ: Oh yeah, or course.  I wish I had done it already, since it's not something I'm known for.  But that doesn't make you a better actor.  I love the fact that people think once you take off the eye make-up, then you're an actor.  And if you don't wear lipstick, you're a really serious actress.  And the uglier you are, the better you are.  I never got that.  In the begining of my career, an agent - who of course I no longer have - suggested I should wear less make-up and look more frumpy to be taken more seriously.  So I went and didn't get a job.  So I said, "Screw this, it's a waste of time."  And then I got Zorro.   You'd be surprised how many people think you must be a serious actress if you're not a good looker.  Which is the biggest bullsh-t I ever heard in my life.

TW: Us comedy the hardest thing to do?
CZJ: I can't tell a joke.  When I think of comedy I think of Robin Williams.  I see him live on stand-up and the guy is a genius.  How can he do that?  It's the most terrifying thing to go and make people laugh.  That is the hardest.  I'd like to do more comedy in film, though.

GC: I must say, I am less scared when I am working with Joel and Ethan Coen.   They're two of the very few unique voices out there, consistently pushing the envelope.  If you hold up their worst film, it's better than almost anybody else's best.  And they love what they do.  I am at a point where I need that.  I don't want to work with jerks or angry people.  The Coens give me license to try stuff.  I wouldn't do what I did in O Brother, Where Art Thou?  for very many directors.  That was a scary thing to do.

TW: What makes you laugh?
GC: The Ali G. Show cracks me up.  South Park still makes me laugh out loud.  The Daily Show is brilliant.  Film-wise...well, I met Bill Murray the other night and he always makes me laugh.  We were at the bar, I saw him, had never met him and you just know that you'll get sh-t when you go over there.   Especially me.  But you can't not go.  So I go, and he's like, "Look who's coming now, the pretty doctor."  But we ended up drinking and had a great night until seven in the morning.